Reflections on Unexpected Opportunities During COVID-19 Pandemic

Over the last couple weeks, the work with my clients has been heavily influenced by their experiences of the COVID-19 pandemic. I've been reflecting on the ways this pandemic has created unforeseen opportunities as their lives have been dramatically changed. I have immense gratitude and appreciation to my incredibly resilient clients who are coping with bustling households filled with children to home school and jobs to maintain, shifts and loss in employment, financial strain, and loneliness to name a few. I've been so humbled to see how my client's have found surprising opportunities during this time.

Prioritizing self and humor among chaos

Therapy is a sacred time which needs to be especially considered when meeting online in the comfort of your homes. Now with more family members in the household and less places to go, finding privacy is understandably challenging. Many of my clients have demonstrated creativity and determination to still make sacred time for themselves, even if it looks a bit different. We've met while sitting in their bathrooms, bedroom closets, and cars parked outside the home. I've had the pleasure of accidentally meeting some of their children, pets, roommates, and loved ones! I've viewed their art and home offices, and I've nearly felt the sunshine from our backyard visits. Even in the mess of a chaotic household, they are making themselves a priority. And simultaneously, we're laughing together and rolling with it because it's just another metaphor for how little is in our control.

Forced pause and simplicity means increased presence

While some clients have noticed an increase in anxiety, others have been surprised at their reduction. As we dive into this remarkable unintended consequence, discussions of appreciation for this forced pause from FOMO, comparisons, and social obligations leads to the realization that there is a felt ease in being present. Clients are in awe as we discuss how walks around the neighborhood have changed from just exercise and fresh air to an incredible display of color, sound, and aroma. As our brain slows and becomes present, we can tap into our 5 senses and observe what is. It's these small things that surprisingly improve our mood and well being!

Improved connection and vulnerability in relationship

Social isolation means a sorrowful loss in social engagements with close friends, family, community, and loved ones. With intention and effort, it's also been a great opportunity to scroll through our phone contacts list and reach out. I've admired many of my client's decisions to include video phone calls in their handwritten daily schedules. While the initial intention was to find ways to get through the difficulty of isolation, these regular phone calls have led to deeper connections in their relationships. There is a collective acceptance in our shared vulnerability; leaning in to the ways we are vulnerable as we connect with our loved ones forges improved intimacy and closeness.

Dating others vs. dating self

And how about dating? Obviously, some of my clients have been disappointed that their pursuit has been put on hold. That hasn't stopped some who have scheduled Zoom dates or 6 ft. distance walks. So creative! But what's been most transformative for me to witness is their shift in attention from anxiously swiping on apps hourly with worry of being single forever, to relief and appreciation of time spent turning their attention to self care and improvement. And ironically, the relationship we have with our forever person is significantly impacted by the relationship we have with ourselves. My clients have been pleasantly surprised to reframe their own personal work in social isolation as helpful to their dating goals. 

A shift from my children are most important to we all are equally important

With the demands now placed on parents to homeschool, nurture, and work from home, something has to give. Based on my experience working in schools and with children and families, it's my opinion that we've developed a culture of over catering to children's needs. Our culture of rescuing children from suffering and problem solving has the unintended consequence of depleting children's ability to develop internal competencies of resilience and frustration tolerance that supports self confidence and flexibility. As parents can't be as available as they'd like, we're having discussions about the benefit of guiding their children to increase their ability to independently play, learn, and problem solve. And furthermore, reframing their belief that their needs matter just as much as anyone else's in the family. And in fact, there is great opportunity in their learning that requesting a pause to do the things that they know calm them down and center their emotional balance ultimately benefit them and their whole family, even if it disappoints others in that moment. They can better show up for their loved ones when they better take care of themselves (and believe it's ok to do so.).

There are so many unexpected opportunities during the COVID-19 pandemic. What is the silver lining for you? Share all the opportunities you're discovering below!