How to Get Control Over Uncontrollable Anxiety

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When we’re extremely nervous it’s typical to feel as though butterflies are living in our stomachs. Similarly, when anxiety is high, we may have trouble falling asleep as we experience extreme unease and overwhelm. Lots of times we’re anxious and don’t even know it!

To build greater awareness of the flavors of anxiety in your life, it can help to first delineate categories of your experience. Anxiety shows up in all sorts of ways. It can manifest as physiological, mental, emotional, behavioral or a combination. Take a look below and decide in what sphere(s) anxiety manifests in you.

1.    Physiological

  • Muscle tension

  • Sleep disturbance

  • Gastro-intestinal distress

  • Elevated pulse

  • Pulse irregularity

  • Disturbed breathing

  • Panic attacks

  • Headaches

  • Back aches

  • Tics

  • Cramps

2.    Mental

  • Worry

  • Apprehension

  • Preoccupation with harm

  • Racing or repetitive thoughts

  • Obsession

  • Catastrophizing (thinking about worst case scenario)

3.    Emotional

  • Uneasiness

  • Distractibility

  • Feeling overwhelmed

  • Feeling of panic

  • Irritability

  • Anger

4.    Behavioral

  • Avoidance

  • Restlessness

  • Pacing

  • Compulsive behavior

  • Impulsive behavior

Anxiety doesn’t always make sense and sometimes it might appear for no apparent reason. Rather than figure out why you’re feeling anxious, I recommend you only observe that it’s there. As a way to help me observe my anxiety, sometimes I’ll quietly say to myself, “butterflies in my stomach are here” or “looping worry thoughts are here” or “restlessness is here.” These mini phrases help increase my awareness and create clarity that I AM NOT anxiety – my anxious part just decided to show up.

This growing awareness gives you the ability to notice the anxiety, pause, and self-soothe. Sometimes it takes all but 30 seconds to stop and breathe into the anxiety to feel a bit better. In that moment, it often doesn’t help to try to understand it or critique it, especially if it will only increase your worry! Instead, just take care and recognize that you’ll make better decisions and communicate better once you’re feeling better and less edgy.

Over time and with consistent practice, this way of approaching anxiety inevitably supports you to develop a new and improved relationship with your anxiety. Can you imagine developing a humorous and appreciative relationship with anxiety that works most of the time? It’s possible to get to a place where you can laugh and ask it to leave when anxiety's presence is destructive and you can also appreciate when anxiety informs you that you’re taking a risk, trying on something new, and making mistakes. It can become crystal clear over time what’s an old and maladaptive pattern for which anxiety is not helpful and when anxiety is there for good reason.

Nicole ByrneComment