I’ve been wanting to write about something that comes up a lot in my therapy sessions - self-doubt. You know those moments when fear sneaks in, making you second-guess yourself? Maybe you hesitate before making a big decision, overthink a conversation, or talk yourself out of an opportunity.

If this sounds like you then keep reading! Fear is really good at taking the driver’s seat in our lives, making us believe we’re not ready, not capable, or not “enough.” But here’s the good news: you don’t have to let fear run the show. Fear isn’t meant to be driving (unless you’re in real danger). You can shift from fear to confidence by learning to trust yourself more and placing fear in the back seat.

Recognizing When Fear is in Control

Have you ever noticed how fear can sound so convincing?

What if I fail?
I’m not good enough to try this.
I should probably wait until I have everything figured out.
I don’t want to upset anyone.

These thoughts often feel like facts, but they’re really just fear in disguise. The mind is a problem solving machine and fear wants to keep you safe, but sometimes it does this by keeping you stuck. It convinces you to avoid risks, stay small, and wait for the “perfect” moment—which never comes.

The Cost of Letting Fear Lead

When fear dictates your choices, it might feel like you're protecting yourself. But over time, it comes at a cost:

You hesitate to go after what you truly want.
You feel stuck in a cycle of overthinking and self-doubt.
You seek external validation instead of trusting your own judgment.
You miss out on opportunities for growth and fulfillment.
You end up doing more of what you “should” do and less of what you “want” to do.

One of my clients described it perfectly: “It’s like I keep waiting for someone to tell me it’s okay to move forward. But no one’s coming to do that—I have to decide for myself.”

What Self-Trust Looks Like

Self-trust isn’t about being fearless. Fear can co-exist from the backseat. Instead, it’s about making choices from a place of confidence rather than anxiety. When you trust yourself, you:

Acknowledge fear but don’t let it dictate your actions.
Make decisions based on what aligns with your values, not just what feels “safe.”
Give yourself permission to take imperfect action.
Believe in your ability to handle challenges that arise.

Self-trust doesn’t mean you always get it right—it means you believe you can navigate whatever comes your way.

How to Move from Fear to Confidence

The shift from fear to confidence is about transforming you relationship to fear—it’s about learning to act despite fear. Here are a few ways to build self-trust:

Notice when fear is running the show. Next time you hear yourself thinking “I can’t” or “I’m not ready,” pause and ask: Is this true, or is this fear talking?
Take small steps. Confidence doesn’t come from waiting—it comes from doing. Start with small actions that push you slightly out of your comfort zone. My clients get used to hearing me say, “Run to the things that scare you!”
Talk to yourself with kindness. Replace self-criticism with encouragement. Instead of “I’ll never get this right,” try “I’m learning as I go, and that’s okay.”
Trust your past experiences. You’ve overcome challenges before—remind yourself of the times you figured things out when you didn’t think you could.
Act first, confidence follows. The more you practice trusting yourself, the easier it becomes.

Final Thoughts

Fear will always have a voice, but it doesn’t have to be the one making your decisions. When you start trusting yourself more, life opens up in ways you never imagined. You step into opportunities, take action despite uncertainty, and build the kind of confidence that comes from knowing you’ve got this.

So, what’s one small way you can practice building trust in yourself today?

If you’d like support or a deeper dive into these issues, working with a therapist can help you identify core beliefs, cultivate genuine self-trust, and learn practical skills to stand firm in your worth.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

If you’re struggling with people-pleasing, fear-based decision-making, or self-doubt, I’m here to help. Feel free to reach out or schedule a consultation to discuss how we can work together toward more intention, self-trust, and fulfillment in your everyday life.

(Disclaimer: The content in this blog is for informational purposes and does not replace professional or medical advice.)

From Fear to Confidence: How to Trust Yourself More